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The Pastor and his Donkey

> > A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so
> >pleased with the donkey
> > that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
> > The local newspaper read:
> > 'PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT'
> > The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity
> > that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
> > The next day, the local newspaper headline read:
> > 'BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS'
> > This was too much for the bishop so he ordered the pastor to get rid of
> >the donkey. The pastor
> > decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
> > The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the
> >next day:
> > 'NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN'
> > The bishop fainted.
> > He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she
> >sold it to a farmer for
> > $10.
> > The next day the paper read:
> > 'NUN SELLS HER ASS FOR $10'
> > As a last resort the bishop ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and
> >lead it to the plains
> > where it could run wild.
> > The next day the headlines read:
> > 'NUN ANNOUNCES...HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE'
> > The bishop was buried the next day....
> > The moral of the story is...being concerned about public opinion can
> >bring you much grief and
> > misery ...and even shorten your life.
> > So be yourself and enjoy life.....
> > Only worry about your own ASS, not someone else's.....
> > You'll be a lot happier and live longer. J

how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
Scroll Down

You got Male

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111= 12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE
than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are
giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants
you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical
certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close,
and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put
you over the top!

It's up to you if you share this with your friends &
loved ones just the way I did.


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3: 5-6

THE SEVEN DANGERS

DON'T ACT THE 7 ACTIONS BELOW
AFTER YOU HAVE A MEAL


* Don't smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher).


* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal.

* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.


* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.


* Don't bathe - Bathing after meal will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.

* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.


* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.



FINALLY DONT JUST KEEP THIS EMAIL . ... ...
PLEASE FORWARD IT TO YOUR FRIENDS. LET THEM BE AWARE!! !

A Rebellious Little Bird

A Rebellious Little Bird

There was once a little bird who decided to rebel against tradition, and when it came time to fly south for the winter, he decided to stay behind. All the other birds flew south for the warmer weather, leaving the rebellious one alone.

Of course, it wasn't long before the little bird discovered he had made a terrible mistake. Winter set in and it became very cold. So, he decided that he had better take off and fly south like his friends.

He started flying, but didn't get very far before the cold north wind began to freeze his wings, and he went plummeting down, down, down ... He fell straight down from the sky, through an open hole in the rooftop of a nearby barn, and directly into a fresh pile of cow dung.

Well, the warmth thawed out his wings, and soon he was feeling fine again. But, as his little head popped out from the smelly dung, along came a cat who plucked him up and ate him.

Moral : Whenever you end up in a pile of DoDo it may not necessarily be a bad thing, and everyone that comes to pull you out of your DoDo may not necessarily be a good thing.

Only for hot guys and girls

Only for hot guys and girls.

Only for hot guys and girls.

Warning ! ...

This is only for Hot Guys & Girls ...

If you think u are HOT ... then only scroll down...

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Hope you are feeling better !!!

Now get back to work ......................... :-)

God Said NO

God Said NO!

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.

Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.

Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.

You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.

God said, No.

I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.


If you love God, send this to ten people and back to the person that sent it.

THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY

May God Bless You,

'Good friends are like stars...You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.'

precious friendship

a lonely shinning night..
thinking of all da ayertawarian
recall back the moments we spent together
the craziness we did together
and the laughters we shared
what a precious memories we had
and the golden experiences we gained
we created thousands of unforgotten moments
and cherich every single time we're in
friends forever
cheers!!!

Hello Everybody

hi everybody...